ghosts of canberra

experienced have i many a sleepless night
accompanied by memories that caused me to turn and shuffle till early daylight,
yet not many have been as disturbingly pleasant as tonight
but unfortunate am i for they are all far from sight....

today has been a day rich in fond memories, with the three most dearest memories of canberra be put back to mind.

an email from the pilkintons....they, to whom one can only give one's deepest gratitude for having introduced an academic world totally anew, and for revealing acts of humble kindness and friendship one thought could never exist;

news of rusty old bike...it, which has brought back memories from playful days of yore when the world seems to be nothing but a playground, also a remembrance of the amount of luck a fool requires to survive acts of stupidity;

last, but definitely most delightful, a telephone call from naya....she, who with no mercy has intrigued one's heart and taught a valuable lesson on the impossibility of suppressing one's most treasured feeling.

nn, 13 agustus 2002

kesedihan itu ternyata masih ada

siang ini aku iseng2 buka web-nya josh groban,karena i do love him, hehe, his songs i mean but a...yeah wajahnya juga lumayan seh...:D

eniwei, ketika nyoba2 dengerin lagunya di web itu, ..it comes to 'you raise me up'...and suddenly..aku menangis kuat dan sesak didada ini rasanya meluap..the song is indeed my papa's song...everybody knows it..pa, ternyata naya masih merindukan papa,n from all the words in the lyrics this one is reminds me deeply to my beloved, loveable papa...

i am strong when i am on your shoulder...

i've known then, i was so stubborn, i was so brave going anywhere to do ministries, even become a risk-taker to choose challenges options in every step of my life, it's all because he stands beside me, protects me always..he even had said would kill anyone who harm me... his love has never failed til the last second of his life on earth. i love you,pa... i know, though we've argued, sometimes feel so far away from each other, you're so close to me,pa, because, perhaps it is too much but it's true, i'm your duplication, your image, your living footprints you leave on earth.

i just pray now that God protects mama and I, keeps us close to his heart so we're stronger day by day as we were when papa was still with us, even more..he did inherit the most precious thing to mama and I, his faith. i know he's happy now beside Jesus just as his other favorite song Blessed Assurance..

i love ,you pa...you're close me,still i'm sure, cause you're just a breath way from me..cause you're just safe in Jesus' arms..our beloved living Saviour and God..i miss you,pa..i miss your smile, your hug, even your tears saying how much you love me and how precious I am for you..please, do forgive me for having not believing you sometimes back then..naya memang anak yang bandel,pa,ya..tapi naya sayang papa, bangga sama papa..semoga naya cepet bisa nyenengin hati papa walaupun papa sekarang di surga ya..nyenengin mama dengan mewujudkan impian papa